Saturday, October 07, 2006

Haven exactly done this in a long while. This, meaning sitting down on my chair and looking through my bboying videos which is always a part of my therapy to remind myself that being a bboy is still what I love. Somehow lately, breaking at esplanade has been bringing me down. The same issues on biters and seeing all the other bboys outdo me in whatever I’m trying to learn and hearing people complain about minor things in their life, mainly Kelvin and realizing that he’s really a bit not too mature. But other than all this, I still can’t resist the beats. This is why I can’t wait for step it up to come, the adrenaline when I hear the speakers blare beats into my ears will just let me sweat it out. The break dancing scheme is actually working rather fine on the other hand. Practicing more moves and glad that my flare is coming back. Mills are rather normal, but happy to have them. So glad to have gotten swipes after all this while. Really must thank ducky, haha. Headspins are still rather the same and that drills are still so far away. Blow ups take time I guess, so I better force myself to practice them. That day went on a one on one with big Alex for 16 rounds and I enjoyed myself pretty much. Still rather glad that I can still freestyle a bit even though I’m going full steam into break dancing and still nursing this sprained thumb and weak ankle of mine. Floor skills, next year, can’t wait. And of course step it up.

So fast the mid term break is over. The only thing that I can remember myself doing is studying at expo from Monday to Friday, while I’m still not too sure that it’s fruitful although I HAVE to tell myself that they were. The aftermath of those holidays was that I felt too tired when the term actually started again. That should have been the cause for my gastric flu and I ended up missing three days of school and slacking at home, hah, but ok la, it wouldn’t be the same as slacking three days in that mid term break coz I pretty much doubt that I would be studying in the first week of the term reopening anyway. Talking about school, this term is actually rather crucial in every aspect for that first lower honors that I’m thinking of getting. The first lower honors that I really don think it’s easy to get in faculty of engineering. So this term is going to be make or break, if I can’t get above cap 4 this sem, it’s probably going to be harder in the next few sems. And looking at this sem’s modules, it’s probably going to be a disappointment for me. Thermodynamics, mechanics of fluids, mechanics of materials, ….. and MALAY! The only module that I’m really enjoying myself and really paying attention. And hopefully I can get an A- for this mod. One thing that I’m really glad for taking this mod is that my Malay language tutor is wonderful, she is teaching full time with MOE and part time at NUS, and the reason she gave was that teaching 30 minutes at NUS really is 30 minutes compared to primary school when 30 minutes of class means only 5 minutes of actual teaching. I guess it’s really hard to find passionate teachers lately in this society when everything is taken for granted and the kids are all too obnoxious to care about teachers and parents too obsessed with bad results to put the blame on teachers. I remember my mum used to buy and wrap presents for all my teachers and tutors for teachers day and make me give them and thank my teachers, even the ones that slapped me countless (Miss Ho and of course my mum didn’t know, I would probably be slapped more if she knew. ). Funny how I used to think that my mum was trying to bootlick my teachers, but now I’m glad to have a mum like my mum. For my mum’s old tradition and for Cikgu Yanti’s passion, I must remind myself to get a card to thank her.

During the mid term break was the start of the fasting month for Muslims. And my wonderful teacher took us out to geylang for a walk and dinner. She invited all her three classes and ended up that there was 21 of us plus her and her other half. The food wasn’t really fantastic, but the company was not too bad. Got to know my class and my fellow Malay language mates slightly better and it was rather fun to order in Malay and everyone got a laugh going at it. But I got a little pissed when we started walking in the bazaar and I kept hearing groups of ‘muds’ saying ‘banyak cina sial’ and all I wanted to tell them was that ‘kita semua faham bahasa melayu lah, bodoh’. I always try not to be racist, but they are really asking for it, just like when they walk at the esplanade underpass and talk shit about bboying and start doing handstands and laughing when the jokes are all on them and walk like they own the place, I just want to shake them and tell them to get a life. But I guess there is no need to. This is Singapore; they will just learn it the hard way when they get no where next time.

Talking about Malays, the haze is really getting rather bad in Singapore due to the burning of forest in Sumatra. So bad until just 5 mins into session at esplanade left me gasping for breath and the underpass is all smoky and all the Malays are smoking in the underpass when clearly it’s a no smoking area. I really don know which Malays to blame, the ones burning the trees or the ones making it worse. But in a way, I do think that the farmers in Indonesia don really have a choice either. Miles away, when the smoke in Singapore is already this bad, I cant imagine them staying in a place where there are more than 510 fire spots and the PSI surely 4 digits or something like that. And all the while thinking if there will be land for them to grow their crops to feed their family.

All in all, now my life is just overwhelmed with studies and bboying and I really hardly got much time for anything else. Sorry darling, but sometimes I do miss being single knowing that I’ll miss those bad days that I have you to ease them for me. Really glad when you are understanding about all this, and I don blame you when you get upset with me for not spending more time with you, but it get tiring sometimes, I’m sure you feel the same too. No matter what, I pray that we stay happy cause that’s really what I want you to be.

gilbert at 9:53 AM [comment]

{I hear voices, voices only half as humane as mine..}